Immy and Steph

Immy and Steph - I have sent you an email suggesting improvements to your piece. Reproduced below:

As promised, suggested improvements to Red Woods:

1. Sort out the Fox/ Regency idents - they should only be on for a couple of seconds each. Also sort out the background sound - should be unique to your film

2. Maybe fade the inter-titles in and out? They might look smoother

3. Can't hear the girl's first line at about 0:40 - need to sort out the audio here

4. You need to balance the sound - the music should be a bit quieter and the dialogue a little louder (although you are trying to compete with rustling leaves...)

5. At 0:59 (and elsewhere, in fact) you need to balance the dialogue so that it sounds roughly even. The boy's voice gets louder...

6. You should start the scene outside the tent (about 1:05) slightly earlier; you lose some of the dialogue

7. I think you should re-edit the order of some of the scenes, so having elements of the story integrated with the action (so, for example, start with "there was once a girl...") before jumping to the couple going through the woods. This may not work, but it might make the narrative a little more compelling

8. Take out "starring" - you don't need it.

9. Take out the "in association with regency and fox" title - again, you don't need it

10. You know about standardising the intertitles, and making sure that they are not whizzing by too quickly. I also think you need to look again at what you're using - some of them (e.g. "You're next") are little hokey. Perhaps let the voice-over do the work...? Certainly the "Alien" rip off can afford to go (I'm pretty certain you can be heard screaming in the woods...)

11. As mentioned, you could do with a credits card at the end.

12. The "actor" credits probably need to be on longer than they are

I'm a little worried that the trailer isn't pacey enough, nor that there are a full range of shots. I would like you to look again at your footage and see if you can add more in, making the piece a little faster and a little more dynamic. It's a little flat and lacks flair (although the narrative and genre aspects are fairly clear).

I hope this helps. If you have any questions, please e-mail me ASAP.